During my graduation years, I realized my mom was more sensitive as a designer than me though she never got any formal education in designing. Didn’t she realize this ever… and if she had realized then why she didn’t pursue it seriously?
One I got a chance to see her school time books. She had only preserved her drawing and arts book. And her sketching was far more better…she understood lines better than me in that age…then why didn’t she polish her skills after marriage?
My mom is extremely fond of designing & stitching clothes and the quality of her work if not better than, is atleast at par with professional designers. Though she lacks three things-exposure, boldness and experience, if she had made an attempt to gain all these three she might have own a boutique by now. Then why she didn’t make that attempt?
With so many similar questions I tried to reason out mom. Though she would have been the best person to tell me the reasons, mummy’s are such selfless creation of God that she won’t tell anything. But I definitely could make out the reasons - Marriage at the age of 23 in a completely middle class family and a mother of three kids by thirty and then she at every point of her life kept herself in the last priority and she didn’t even realize that in the process she lost herself. I know the entire struggle, physical and psychological that she went through and what she gained and lost in the last 27 years.
Inspite of knowing all this…
When she stretches herself for all the work at home in the morning, I sleep till 8-30, ignoring the fact that she needs me the most till 10-30.
She climbs innumerable times up and down the stairs though she has severe knee problems. And I help only at my convenience.
I want her to listen to all my talk at my time. But when she wants to be heard, majority of the times I am not available.
We all three always want our favourite dishes to be cooked. But I don’t think except for her birthday or anniversary we bothered to as what she wants to eat.
When I stay away from home, I want her to call me and inquire about me every day. But when she was not well for two days I forgot to call her.
It’s not that I don’t love her. She knows more than I know that I love her and care for her. But still I tend to take her for granted. And mom’s are such strange selfless creations that they cherish even this ‘taken for granted ‘status.
And what do we kids do? We gift her card, a small present and a warm hug on Mother’s day. Does she deserve only this? Do we really need a hyped day like Mother’s day to tell her that we care? Is that one day enough? Is gifting her a card more conveying than we being available when she needs us?
I wish I myself learn from what I’ve written. But yes while writing I definitely have realized how I can be a better daughter without artificial expression of love.
After all it’s all about loving your mom…;)
vey good.......
ReplyDeleteRahul