Harikrishna Thakkar

Pursuing Ph.D in Bharatnatyam, Faculty in Music college of Baroda, President and the person who revived the dead SPIC MACAY-Vadodara Chapter, an active social worker, Juror of many State and National level competitions, mentor of various students of Bharatnatayam, someone in whom resided immense and rare respect and love for everything that was Indian and Natural, a Man with Iron strong will power who took responsibilities of his three younger brothers and a younger sister after his parents passed away, extremely cultured, addicted to hard work, honesty and humanity was his religion, immensely idealistic and positive …and the list goes on for a dear friend of mine – Harikrishna Thakkar…

I am thankful to Priyanka to introduce me to a gem of a person like him. After meeting him I realized the degree to which a person can struggle for his passion in a rightful manner… and this inspired me to follow my dreams… it was only because of him that I was introduced to Indian classical dance and music which I had always wanted to explore… and the experience only made me proud of me being an Indian and the richness and maturity of our heritage and culture.

I had not met him since long… last time I saw him was during his performance on a ballet named ‘Maya’ on 26^th December 2008… and trust me I never knew a Bharatnatyam based dance ballet could be so gripping that I didn’t realize when two hours went by… and that was the last day I saw him…full of life…smiling…talking and ALIVE

14^th March 2009, Gargiv messaged me in the morning at ten that Harikrishna was no more… and I just could not believe… it was one of the most shocking news I could have ever expected… but I was fortunate enough that I was in Baroda at that time and hence could be a part of his last journey… at one in the afternoon I reached is home where the body full of life and energy lied dead on the floor covered with flowers and last minute rituals happening around him…

Evereyone around him crying, mourning and stood there thinking hard why the hell he is not getting up to console his crying sister, brothers and fiancé whom he got engaged to few months back… but his spirit had left its temporary residence to reach some other world without completing two most dear dreams – completing his Ph.D and tieing knot with Kosha; and realizing this I moved out of the room with prayers in my mind…may his soul rest at peace…

Harikrishna Thakkar  - 9/9/77 – 13/5/09 

Mother's day - 10th May 2009

During my graduation years, I realized my mom was more sensitive as a designer than me though she never got any formal education in designing. Didn’t she realize this ever… and if she had realized then why she didn’t pursue it seriously?

One I got a chance to see her school time books. She had only preserved her drawing and arts book. And her sketching was far more better…she understood lines better than me in that age…then why didn’t she polish her skills after marriage?

My mom is extremely fond of designing & stitching clothes and the quality of her work if not better than, is atleast at par with professional designers. Though she lacks three things-exposure, boldness and experience, if she had made an attempt to gain all these three she might have own a boutique by now. Then why she didn’t make that attempt?

With so many similar questions I tried to reason out mom. Though she would have been the best person to tell me the reasons, mummy’s are such selfless creation of God that she won’t tell anything. But I definitely could make out the reasons - Marriage at the age of 23 in a completely middle class family and a mother of three kids by thirty and then she at every point of her life kept herself in the last priority and she didn’t even realize that in the process she lost herself. I know the entire struggle, physical and psychological that she went through and what she gained and lost in the last 27 years.

Inspite of knowing all this…

When she stretches herself for all the work at home in the morning,  I sleep till 8-30, ignoring the fact that she needs me the most till 10-30.

She climbs innumerable times up and down the stairs though she has severe knee problems. And I help only at my convenience.

I want her to listen to all my talk at my time. But when she wants to be heard, majority of the times I am not available.

We all three always want our favourite dishes to be cooked. But I don’t think except for her birthday or anniversary we bothered to as what she wants to eat.

When I stay away from home, I want her to call me and inquire about me every day.  But when she was not well for two days I forgot to call her.

It’s not that I don’t love her. She knows more than I know that I love her and care for her. But still I tend to take her for granted. And mom’s are such strange selfless creations that they cherish even this ‘taken for granted ‘status.

And what do we kids do? We gift her card, a small present and a warm hug on Mother’s day. Does she deserve only this? Do we really need a hyped day like Mother’s day to tell her that we care? Is that one day enough? Is gifting her a card more conveying than we being available when she needs us?

I wish I myself learn from what I’ve written. But yes while writing I definitely have realized how I can be a better daughter without artificial expression of love.

After all it’s all about loving your mom…;)

Knowing the unknown…

That day I saw him going upstairs, he lost in his own world, continuously staring the floor. May be he had a jury or may be trying to resolve something… but there was definitely some very hard action taking place in his mind ...and he is interpreted in spite of the fact that he is ‘Unknown’

That morning freshness…with uncombed wet hair, his backpack…I am sure he had really enjoyed his bath…a refreshing  bath that he might have taken after three to four days…and still trying to solve the ‘Unknown’ puzzle

His vain attempt of controlling himself from smiling…but when he smiles, laughs without any apprehensions… feels like there could be no purest form of expression than that… and the knowing of the ‘Unknown’ begins…

He keeps walking straight..and erect …and stout…and then when he looks left…that look of his makes your day…and I realize I am trying to know the ‘Unknown’

His continuous stare of five seconds…straight into your eyes…energizes you enough that you can work the entire night for a work which you wish you could avoid…Here I wish only if I could know the ‘Unknown’ even more…

An attempt of knowing the ‘Unknown’